Sharing openly from the heart. Looking Trauma in the eye.
There you go, I can finally say (or write) this in a way that brings no strong reaction or emotion within me. I see it as a simple neutral statement that describes my body. My body is fat. I am fat.
This has not always been like this. Not so long ago, I would have cringed, felt deep shame, denied it, or chosen whatever other words I could think of, that felt more soothing to my self-perception.
Read More‘What about me?’ This question popped into my mind several times in my life.
I am giver. I spent a lifetime giving my love, attention, energy, to work and people. I gave, again and again, and there would be times, when I would somehow stop and ask myself: ‘What about me?’
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This is the first part of a two part post. A before and after account of what has changed in me. How I became aware of the many aspects of being me and what it means in practice to become aware, the transformation and the benefits.
Read MoreThis post will be a mixture of the ‘Books that changed my life’ posts I have shared on my social media (check Instagram or Facebook) and a longer reflection on this subject and my experience.
I read ‘Code Red: Know your flow, unlock your monthly super powers and create a bloody amazing life. Period’ by Lisa Lister back in 2017. I don’t quite remember how the book came to me but when I read it, it changed my view of my menstrual cycle quite dramatically. What I once saw as a painful and uncomfortable monthly nuisance, I could now see as something different. I could see that by understanding my cycle I could understand myself better. My moods, my energy and how to harness this knowing into making time to honour the different stages of the cycle.
As I read the book, for the first time in my life, I actually had the time and disposition to observe my body better and try and identify all the phases of my menstrual cycle. As time went on, I started getting confused and then frustrated, because my cycle seemed to not conform to the descriptions in the book.
Read MoreSome months, on the first day of my period, just like today, all I feel like doing is this:
Recline
Read a book
Watch something light on TV
Knit
Listen to an audiobook
Nap
Read MoreI was walking back from the seaside, noticing how light and relaxed my body felt when suddenly this line came to my head: ‘I walk in beauty’. It made so much sense and that sentence fitted perfectly with how I felt in that moment.
I felt beautiful because I could sense my body walking following its natural relaxed movement, I felt super soft inside, my legs had a relaxed certainty about them, my arms were dangling in what felt like the perfect movement, I was standing tall without any conscious effort, I had a smile on my face and I felt beautiful.
Read MoreI have been sensing this message for quite some time but only today I felt called to put it down on paper as well as make it public. Hoping it resonates and inspires you to go deeper within yourself as well as have a different experience when listening or sharing stories.
Read MoreA poem I wrote on Sadness.
I was sitting on the sofa. The word sadness jumped into my awareness. I knew I had to do something with it. I delayed taking any action for a little while, seeking a distraction, yet I knew that the word was still there, patiently waiting for me to grab some pen and paper. Finally I do and this is what comes out…
In this short post, I share a series of podcasts that have been filling my cup recently. I wanted you to also have access to them in the hope they may come to you in the same way they came to me and bring you what they are bringing me.
Who is inspiring you at the moment?
Read MoreThe other day I noticed something in my body. As I was walking, I noticed that my hand was closed and my thumb was tucked in with my fingers holding it safe. The first time I noticed and realised the reason for walking with this hand position was back in 2016 and I realised, through a series of events, self-enquiry and what was happening then, that this meant I was feeling anxious. To notice my body doing this again after a few years of not doing it, raised alarm bells for me. What part of me was feeling anxious and why was I not aware of it?...
Read MoreThis poem was written in February 2018 and it came out in flow from journalling. Suddenly one word joined another and it seemed to have a kind of song in it that makes it a poem, and there it was. The way this poem came out was different from my first one and it showed me the different ways they can come to me. Hope you enjoy it.
Read MoreEvery single soul purpose stated is a piece of who I am, and a piece of every single woman in the room and the world. We are all of those: healers, warriors, shadow hunters, galactic mothers, connectors to the ancestors, witches, truth tellers, bridges between worlds and much more.
Read More‘I am here to heal the feminine’
This was a part of what came up for me this weekend when I participated in a workshop with the title: Magdalena: Mother, Teacher, Whore, lead beautifully and vulnerably by Winter Jade Icely @the_sexwitch.
When I uttered these words out loud, surrounded by a group of women, my body felt full of electricity. I felt the truth in these words deep in my whole being.
Read MoreThis is a poem I wrote from an intense body sensory experience in Bletchley, February 2018. I will be adding some more of my poetry in the coming days. These pieces have all been written from a place of flow and inspiration, with no planning. I never thought I would be writing poetry, yet, here I am. I hope you enjoy this piece as well as my future ones.
Read MoreI used to get very annoyed at all those memes about forgiveness and the idea they seemed to put forward that forgiveness is important in order to move on in your life, that if you continue to hold on to the hurt, you won't be able to move on, and I can see how this is true, yet, what really annoyed me was that I felt that there was a sort promise implied that everything would be ok once you forgave. It would be a happy ever after sort of life.
Read MoreHow many times, as a woman, have you had to physically, and probably energetically, try to shrink yourself to fit? How many times did you dim yourself, so someone could feel better about themselves?
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